Pillows to the Rescue

Isaac is at an age where he loves to help us do our chores. Whether it is helping with laundry, picking up, painting, cutting wood, raking, etc., he wants to participate. We always tell him what a good helper he is. He has started repeating this back to us when he asks to help with a task. He will say, "Mom, can I help you (fill in the blank)? You know, Mom, I am a good helper."

I love it!

Sometimes, though, it is hard to explain that he can't always help us how he wants to. Last night, I decided that I wanted to finish the painting project that we started over a year ago. I did not like that the stairwell was still not painted and looked horrible. So I set about to finish the project. Isaac came up to me and said, "Can I help paint?"

How do you explain to a very helpful four year old that this project did not have much that he could help with? We allowed him to use the paintbrush with a little paint on the lower part of the wall. This appeased him a bit; however, he really wanted to use the roller. We drew the line there and asked him to help us by picking up his toys and staying out from under the ladder. He sulked for a minute and went to his room to pick up toys. He came out a few minutes later with his pillow. He placed it under the ladder, looked at me and said, "Just in case dad falls." How sweet!

I looked at him and said, "You are the best son ever! Thank you for thinking of your dad."

I am reminded frequently that he wants to do his best. He wants to learn how to do the things that we do. He wants to learn to cook, to repair things, to take care of himself. He wants to be independent of me, while being a part of what we do, whether I am ready for him to be or not. I am reminded that he is his own person. Sometimes, I struggle with this. I want him to be the person I want him to be when it is my job to help him discover who he is and why he is here. I need to let go of the paintbrush, so to speak, and let him create his own way. It is my responsibility to guide him, to show him God's love, let him choose his way and pray that he chooses his path wisely. He still needs me and I am told that he always will. It will just be differently during each phase of his life.

Lord, please help me to allow him to be his own person, to show him what it is You desire for him, and to trust him to make his own mistakes and to learn from them. Help me to have a teachable spirit so that he may have one has well.

Jeepers Creepers

Isaac loves to watch old cartoons. Popeye, Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny, any old Disney cartoon are his favorites.

The other day, while I was driving down the road, I heard him singing in the very back of the van. It took me a minute to recognize the tune and then I started to giggle to myself. He was singing, "Jeepers, Creepers, Where'd you get those peepers? Jeepers, Creepers, Where'd you get those eyes?"

Got to love those old cartoons!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Before I tell you what has been coming out my 4 year old's mouth lately, I first have to confess that I have been in a funk the past few months. As many of you are aware, I finally got pregnant after several months of trying, only to have a miscarriage at my 9-10 week mark. It has been the most difficult thing that I have experienced in my life; and to explain to my four year old that I do not know when his brother/sister will be here, has been more difficult. He knows that I no longer have a baby in my tummy and that the baby is back in Heaven with Jesus. He asks at least once a day when Jesus is going to send the baby back to my tummy so that he/she can come out and play with him. He tells me frequently all of the things that he wants to do with his sibling - teach him to walk, to talk, to laugh, to play with his toys, how to use the potty, how to start a fire and help daddy. Sometimes I wonder if being an only child bothers him. Occasionally, he wants to be alone. More often than not, he wants someone to share his experiences with, as I think God designed us to do. I make playdates, we go to playgroup, to church, to McDonald's, to cousins homes, to soccer, etc.

I have thought about whether or not I regret telling him that he was going to be a big brother. Sometimes, I must admit, I do. However, knowing about his sibling has opened up many conversations about where babies come from, life, death and our Heavenly Father. I count these conversations as blessings. How would these things have come up and been personal to him, if this had not happened? Yes, it was a blessing that we told him.

As for my funk, well, it's hard to explain. I will say that God is bringing me through it, one moment at a time. I have several days in a row without weeping and normal functioning and then it will hit me again. These moments pop up out of nowhere. I long to feel my baby kick or be sick with morning/evening sickness. Or even to feel plain yucky all the way around with being pregnant. I have become hypersensitive about complaining pregnant women. I pray daily for God's help with this as my flesh wants to give them a long lecture about being thankful that they feel so bad - that means they are pregnant! I then have to remind myself that there are times when I am not so thankful about everything that God has given me either.

Which brings me back to Isaac and what a blessing that he is to me. To see the world through his eyes, and to figure out how his little brain works, is exciting! The past couple of days, he has surprised me with his candidness. Here are a few little stories from my precious little gift:



The Man of the House

Yesterday, Isaac had his TV priviledge taken away because he kept shouting at me in the car. He was upset that we had to go to Grandma's house (his favorite place - BTW!). As we all do at times, he just plain was not happy. I was fine with him not being happy; it was his continued shouting and kicking the back of my seat while driving that caused his TV priviledge for the day to be removed.

After Richard left for work and Nathan had gone home, he was a little bored. I played a few games with him and read a book, but he still wanted his TV priviledge back. It is extremely difficult for me not to give in, especially when I am feeling a little overwhelmed. Yes, sometimes TV is my babysitter. Nothing like Backyardigans or Tom & Jerry to keep him occupied and in one spot for 30 minutes straight while mom breathes for a minute. Anyway, I did not give in and turn the TV on. He pouted for a minute or two and then I noticed his eyes flicker for a minute with a "great idea". If you have not had the priviledge of hearing your child say, "I have a "great idea"', I feel very sad for you. Anytime Isaac wants to do something, it is always preceded by, "I have a great idea...." with his index finger pointed in the air. I am not sure where he learned this, but it is hysterical to watch. He left the room for a minute and came back with Richard's hat on his head. Isaac lowered his voice and said, "I'm the man of the house. I want to watch TV!"

Little booger! I giggled and gave him a big hug, told him, "Thanks for trying," sat down and read another book to him. He cracks me up!



The Baby

We had a couple of hours in between our doctor appointments today, so I took him to McDonald's to play. This is the conversation that we had while walking across the parking lot:

Isaac: "WAAaaaaa, WAAaaaaa, WAAaaaaaa! Do hear that mom?"

Me: "Yes. It sounds like a baby."

Isaac: "It is a baby, Mom. It's your baby in Heaven and he is crying for you."

Me: "Wow, Isaac." Pause. "Do you think he is crying for me or do you think that he is singing with the angels?"

Isaac: "He is crying for you. He wants you to go to Heaven and pick him up."

Me: "Isaac, someday I will get to pick him up and hold him."

Pause.

Isaac: "Mom, I miss him." Sniff, sniff.

Me: "Me, too. Right now, though, I am happy that you are my son and that I can play with you. I love you!"

Isaac: "I love you, too. You're the best mom ever!"

He can be so kind and tender-hearted that he melts my heart. He has random thoughts and is not afraid to share them with me or his father.


When I Grow Up

I ordered his lunch and we sat down at the table in the play area to eat. He shared with me whatever popped into his head. He asked me if the eye doctor was going to have me tell him what direction the E was pointing. I told him that I would have to tell him what letters that I saw and that he would write me a prescription for new glasses. He told me that he was afraid to go up in the playland because it looked really scary up there. Later, he did go up to the top because he met a new friend, Caleb, and they were both scared to go alone. However, together, they were fearless. He came back to the table to get a drink and says, "When I grow up, I want to be black."

I said, "Oh? Oh, you mean you want to have black skin." I figured out that he was looking through the window at a young black man that had just walked in.

He said, " Yup."

I said, "Ok. Why do you want to be black?" I always ask him why he wants to be something because I want to know what it is that he is thinking. Once, he said that he wanted to be a police officer because he wants to write tickets. He wants to be batman so that he can wear a cape.

Isaac: "I like how his skin looks." :-)

Not going to argue with that logic nor was I going to explain that our skin doesn't change colors so easily. He's smart. He'll figure out at some point that our skin, usually, does not change color. For now, I will let him dream.



Beautiful

While I waited to see the eye doctor, Isaac and I tried on new frames. He would pick out a pair for me to try on, hand it to me and then say how beautiful I looked. He did this about 40 times while we waited. I pray that in my old age, he still loves his momma as much then as he does now. I know that I will love him always!

The Democratic Process

Yesterday, our small town held a special election to decide whether or not to raise our sales tax rate by 0.5%. I always take Isaac with me when I vote so that he can understand the privilege that we have in our country. When I got home from work, our family had the following conversation:

Me: "Isaac, I need you to get ready to go because we are going to vote."

Isaac: "I don't want to go boat."

Me: "Not boat...vote."

Isaac: "Mom, I don't want to go boat because the last time I fell in the water."

Me: "Honey, not boat, vote."

Isaac: "What's boat, Mom?"

Me (trying to be serious): "Voting is when you ask a group of people what they want."

Richard: "If more people want to do one thing, than that is what everyone does. If more people want to do a different thing, than that is what everyone does."

Isaac: "Huh?"

Richard: "Let's have a vote. Who wants to go vote? (Richard and I raise our hands.) Two votes for going. Ok, who wants to stay home? (Isaac raises his hand.) Ok, two people want to go vote and one person wants to stay home. The ones who want to go vote win. Everybody is going."

Isaac: "Oh man. Why are we boating?"

Me: "We are voting on whether or not to raise the sales tax."

Isaac: "What does taxis mean?" He knows that I prepares taxes and he calls them taxis:-)

Richard: "It means, when you go to the gas station to buy candy, you are going to have to give them more money to purchase that candy."

Isaac, looking horrified that he might have to pay more for his candy: "I'm voting NO!"

Sigh - a fiscal conservative in the making:-)

BTW - The citizens of Edwardsville turned down the proposal to raise the sales tax rate. 165 people voted to raise taxes and 185 voted to keep the sales tax at its current rate.

Also, I love that my son cannot say his Vs. I know that that is weird and that sometime in the not so distant future, he will be able to pronounce all of his letters correctly. I will miss his mispronunciations. Until then, I am going to enjoy hearing him mispronounce words and document a few in the stories that I keep. He can be quite the character and I love him deeply - even when he is throwing a nerf gun at my head!